Everything Changes
by FlammaLuna
Summary: Lily is back at Hogwarts with a huge pain to deal with. Her parents had died during a deatheaetrs' attack in summer and her sister hates her. When she returns to the only place she considers home she will see that many things are about to change and will mark her life forever. Her feelings will suddenly change about everyone as she'll have to face betrayal, war and love.
1. The worst way to start the last year

It was surely the worst way for anyone to start their graduation year at Hogwarts. Lily Evans couldn't think of something worse. She was standing there, in front of the bricked wall between platforms ten and nine completely alone. Her mom wasn't next to her, smiling and watching the move in the busy station like always. Her father wasn't there, looking at her proudly while starting his be-careful-speech before they could even reach the platform. Even her sister, Petunia who was usually standing a few steps away from the rest of the family, frowning as usual would be a true comfort right now. But Lily hadn't seen her sister for two weeks, not after what had happened. Not after what Petunia had said to her.

The girl took a deep shaky breath, trying to calm herself down, even though she accomplished nothing. She had to be strong. She needed to be strong for the people's eyes, she didn't want anyone to pity her or treat her like she was fragile, expensive china ready to be broken at the very first touch, because she wasn't feeling like that. It had taken her a lot of time to convince herself that she wasn't feeling like that. Her thick, red hair was falling uncombed on her shoulders. Her emerald, green eyes had lost their glimpse; it was like it had never even existed, the only thing that could be seen was the emptiness inside them and the black circles under them. Lily hadn't checked herself in the mirror for days but she knew she looked horrible, but not as horrible as she felt on the inside.

Her grip tightened around her trolley's handle as she walked closer to the bricked wall, her cat, Buttercup was purring, sitting in the trolley, trying to catch Lily's attention. His ginger fur was as uncombed as his owner's hair; even it had lost its glimpse. It was like Buttercup was sharing his owner's grief.

"It's just you and me now, Buttercup" said Lily sadly as she stroked Buttercup between the ears, his favorite spot.

The cat purred satisfied and looked at Lily with his oblique, green eyes with so much comfort like he understood everything that was coming out of her mouth. Lily would wonder sometimes if Buttercup really did understand her. He had come so many times through the window of the locked room just to lick Lily's shaking hands when Lily needed another living creature the most, just to feel its warmth to remind her that she was still not a zombie.

Lily pushed the trolley with her trunk and the cat in, further. She looked around her and when she was completely sure that no one was looking at her direction, she pushed the trolley into the very solid wall. It was like Lily had passed through thin air, the trolley moved through the wall without any difficulty, to stop at a brand new platform, platform nine and three quarters.

The first thing Lily did was to look at the huge clock that was hanging on the wall in front of her. She still had ten minutes until the train's department. Lily figured that it would be better to get in the train. She couldn't wait to slip into a compartment and stay there, alone, for the rest of the journey. She walked past the families and Hogwarts' students. She felt like an invisible iron hand was clenching her heart at the sight of all these happy families and sweet good-byes when she had no one by her side.

That's when she noticed that many faces were turned to her direction, their eyes filled with pity and sadness like they were expecting her to break down and start crying, somehow. Lily raised her eyebrow, curious at first; not really knowing what was going on. When a boy at her age with blonde hair that Lily never talked to (but was certain he played as a chaser in the Gryffindor quidditch team), came with his full of pity eyes and gave her his condolences, it hit Lily as fast as the lamp lights up with the push of a button.

It was quite obvious. It would be in the Daily Prophet's front page, a deatheaters' attack in a muggle neighborhood that left most people dead or seriously injured, including her parents.

Lily stayed with her mouth half-opened, without answering she kept walking past the crowd. She tried to ignore all these people who came to her, saying how sorry they were. But Lily was starting to get very annoyed. Most of these people had never talked to her and they were unaware of her existence, referring to her as that-girl-who-James-asks-all-the-time-out. Now they were suddenly acting like they had known her for years. They suddenly noticed her, because of her parents' death. She didn't want to look at their faces that reminded her the reason of her pain. It was like they confirmed that her parents were dead something that Lily was trying stubbornly to prove wrong. But the image of her parents lying dead in their destroyed living room was the ultimate proof and to remind her, the image was appearing in her nightmares every singe night

As Lily was about to get in the train, she noticed two girls looking at her. Alice and Sophia, her best friends and the only people that probably knew how Lily really felt at the exact moment, but even them, couldn't make her feel better. They had sent her owls that Lily never replied, most times didn't even bother to read. She just wanted to be alone with Buttercup as her only company, so she quickly tried to put her heavy trunk inside the train , gasping in her attend of doing so.

"Do you need help?" a male voice asked from behind her.

Lily turned and saw the complete stranger brunette; the pity was very obvious in his eyes. Lily felt the rage inside her boiling, ready to explode.

"I am doing fine by myself" she answered harshly and pushed with all her force the trunk in the train, glad that instead of falling back on her head the trunk got in.

Lily, ignoring the boy jumped in the train, followed by Buttercup. Knowing that her friends would seek for her, she made her way rapidly at the compartment at the back which was usually empty since it took a lot of time from the compartment to the exit, especially when your stomach was asking for Hogwarts' delicious welcoming feast; she opened the compartment's door and got inside, knowing that no one would seek for her there. She sat at the seat near the window. Buttercup jumped on the seat as well and curled himself on Lily's lap.

Lily started stroking his fur, a tear slipped from her eyes as she watched a mother kissing her child goodbye, telling her that they would see each other again at Christmas. More tears escaped Lily's eyes as she was reminded that she wouldn't go home for Christmas. She would never see her father sitting on his armchair in front of the fireplace, reading his newspaper while drinking hot chocolate, wearing the Christmas sweater mother would have made for him and was complaining so much about it, even though he would gladly wear it at the end. She would never see her mother making cookies in the kitchen while quietly singing every Christmas song that would pass in her mind. Lily would never see them again.

The platform was fading away as the train started moving. Lily was looking out of the window when she heard the compartment's door opening. She turned around expecting to see Alice and Sophia with their hands folded in front of their chests expecting Lily to give all the explanations and excuses she could think of, of why she hadn't sent a single owl. She was surprised though to see the tall, handsome boy with the hazel eyes hidden behind eyeglasses, the unsettled black hair and the Head Boy badge staring at her.

"I just came here to tell you that we are all waiting for you, we can't start without the head-girl" said James. James had a long time to ask Lily out, he was actually hardly talking to her, and he was referring to her only if it was necessary and mainly avoided her. Lily was actually relieved with this change; she was quite tired of getting annoyed every time James would ask her out. James had stopped talking to her after the incident in the yard two years ago, when Severus called her a mudblood. He came later to see if she was alright and Lily took all her anger on him, she had even told him that it was his entire fault, even if it wasn't.

Lily looked at him confused for a few seconds, trying to figure out what he meant. She suddenly remembered a week ago when a brown owl dropped a letter with a badge in the envelope. In her grief she didn't pay much attention to it. But now she remembered, she was selected to be the new Head Girl. She stood up quickly, forgetting that Buttercup was sitting on her lap. The cat made a noise of annoyance and jumped on the opposite seat where he watched Lily was fabling in her now open trunk.

"I am sorry" said Lily in an apologetic tone of voice; her face was buried in the inside of her trunk. "I've kind of forgotten. I am sure I've thrown that badge somewhere here. Oh, here it is" She took out her red, Head Girl badge and pinned it on the front of her school robes, she had changed into her school robes a few minutes ago since there was a toilet right outside her compartment.

"I've figured you would forget" replied James, using the same calm tone as he had used before.

Lily turned and glared at him as she felt the fury boiling inside her again. She looked into his hazel eyes; they were unreadable, so unreadable that Lily turned her own green eyes away. She was determined though, that he was saying this out of pity, like the others. She wouldn't take it from Potter, too.

"I don't know how you guessed that" she said quietly. "I was just lost in my thoughts. Now, I think we better go". Lily made a move to leave when James spoke again, this time revealing his own pity.

"I am sorry about your parents"

Lily turned around to face him, her face hard as stone.

"There's no need to be sorry, it's not your fault that they are dead" she began coldly "Besides I don't think that it's any of your concerns. Let's just stick to the head duties and leave each others personal lives"

James looked at her angrily.

"I was just trying to be nice!"

"Well, don't" Lily cried at him in rage. "I don't need it from you. I don't need you or anyone else to pity me. What do you know about me, Potter? NOTHING! But like the rest, you are suddenly interested because my parents were murdered by deatheaters and it was the main gossip in a bloody newspaper!"

The boy looked at her in pure anger; he shook his head in disapproval, something that made Lily even more furious.

"Alright then" he said in his cool, calm tone of voice. "If you want it to be that way, let's just go to the meeting and get on with it"

He got out of the compartment without turning back to see if Lily was following him. Lily told Buttercup to stay there as she followed James, glaring at his back for the whole time. For some reason, James' pity annoyed her more than the others. Maybe it was due to the fact that he had avoided her completely for two years after being all over her and now he was suddenly talking to her again. Besides she could hardly believe that there was no other person to come and get her and James had to sacrifice himself.

They arrived at the prefects' compartment where a pair of prefects of all four Hogwarts' houses were sitting there waiting for them while talking about their summer holidays. Their attention turned to James and Lily when they got in, waiting for instructions.

Lily let James talk. The boy told the prefects their house's password and a few instructions about what they had to do as prefects. He had also pointed out that the prefects couldn't take points and if there was a very serious problem, they should call the Head Boy or Head Girl.

"Now if all of you have memorized the passwords you are free to go and patrol the corridors". James finished.

The prefects got out of the compartment, laughing and talking with each other leaving Lily alone with James. Lily felt extremely uncomfortable being with James, especially when he was pretending that she wasn't even there by shuffling some papers. She didn't know what to do, stay or leave? She waited for a few more seconds, staring at James who didn't even bother to spare her a glance. Deciding that there was nothing else to say she turned around and exited the compartment, that's when he decided to speak.

"I know you probably hate me, but since we are Heads we have to cooperate with each other no matter how hard it sounds. Besides that, we can keep away from each other as much as we want, alright?"

Lily looked at him, he hadn't even turned his face up from the papers, she stared at him for a moment. She didn't hate him, she actually didn't know what she was feeling about James Potter, the golden Gryffindor boy that everyone loved and admired. But Lily was tired mentally and physically and James confused her and most of times annoyed her so she just nodded, unable to argue.

"Alright" she turned on her heels and exited the compartment, leaving James alone with his papers, never seeing the sad glance he gave her.


	2. Playing with the fire

((A/N= Sorry for late updating! Thanks to all my viewers and for your kind reviews:)))

Lily had tried to stay away from Alice and Sophia during the feast, even though she knew it was no use. She would have to face them sooner or later. But she didn't feel ready to talk to anyone. Lily had been locked in an old lady's house for two whole weeks, doing nothing but stare out of the window with empty eyes. The kind lady's name was and she had gladly accepted Lily in her house since she had nowhere else to go. Petunia could have easily tell her to come and stay with her and her fiancé, Vernon Dursley but her sister didn't even want to see her face anymore. had been really kind to Lily and even though she had tried hard to cheer her up, Lily wasn't responding to anything, not kind words, not food, not sleep. Everything reminded her of her parents. She had stayed closed to herself, closed in her safe shell and the only one who could make her turn her cold eyes away from the window was her cat, Buttercup. She had locked all the pain inside her heart, trying to hide it and pretend that she was moving on, but it was killing her, it was killing her slowly and painfully like poison. The pain and sorrow was eating her heart piece by piece trying to escape, break away, and let it go. Something that Lily was refusing to do.

But Lily had gotten so used to the pain that she would be surprised if it would ever disappear. She just knew that it would always be there, reminding her that the two people that cared about her and loved her the most were gone somewhere that Lily couldn't reach them.

The girl looked at the chicken leg and salad in her plate reluctantly, in fact the sight of the food made her want to throw up, even if her stomach was empty. She pushed it away from her and rested her elbows on the table.

"For how long were you planning to ignore us?"

Lily turned her head around to see an irritated Alice whose blonde hair was falling on one shoulder and a sulky Sophia.

"We were worried about you!" Alice scolded Lily.

"We thought you were deadly injured and locked away in a hospital all by yourself! Even if you were selfish enough not to contact us, you should at least let us know that you were alright" Sophia added angrily, her large blue eyes slightly narrowing as she brushed away a strand of black hair.

Lily couldn't help but smile at her friend's reactions. She was emotionally touched. She didn't deserve them. She didn't deserve such good friends, especially after she had ignored them for two whole weeks.

"I love you, too guys" Lily replied calmly.

Alice's and Sophia's reactions didn't surprise her at the least. Alice took the seat right next to Lily while Sophia slipped some more chicken into Lily's plate, muttering something about Lily needing meet. Their faces, unlike of all of those strangers' that had come to Lily, were not showing any pity, but comfort and understanding.  
"You look as pale as a ghost, Lils" said Alice, frowning. Though the fact that she didn't choose to say how sorry she felt for Lily made her see what a great friend Alice was.

"Thank you Alice, you look great, too" beamed Lily and her blonde friend smiled.

Everything was starting to get smoother after Alice and Sophia had joined Lily. At least now, Lily wasn't counting the seconds until she could go and get locked in her dormitory that as with much displeasure realized, she was going to share with Potter. Lily had even managed, unconsciously, putting some food in her empty stomach as the conversation between the three friends started heating up after Lily had told them who the Head Boy was.

"Merlin's beard! I think the age has finally hit Dumbledore straight to his head, otherwise why would he make Potter Head Boy?" asked Alice mockingly.

Lily didn't even bother to tell her to mind her words. Alice always had had a sharp tongue and would speak her mind, no matter what was in it. She was reckless and fiercely loyal. Sophia was more of a quite character, quiet and shy. While Alice would do anything to stand up for her principles and beliefs, Sophia didn't mind people doubting her as long she was doing what she knew was right. Their opposite personalities would usually collapse and lead them to some really nasty arguments. One of their many arguments was James Potter. Sophia believed that he deserved a chance while Alice believed that he deserved a punch. Lily mostly agreed with Alice on James Potter subjects. Besides, what chance did James deserve? He had finally come to terms with Lily. He was ignoring her as long she was ignoring him. It was the only thing James and Lily had ever agreed on.

"I actually think that James has proven himself" Sophia broke in with a stiff tone of voice, going for once again against Alice. "First of all, he is a talented student and he is also the reason that Gryffindor took the Quidditch cup last year and we will also take it this year since he was also chosen as the Quidditch Captain".

"I must remind you that Hogwarts is not all about quidditch, Sophia" replied Alice coldly.

"I know that it's not. I am just saying, this is one of the many things James is good at" Alice gasped at Sophia's respond furiously, her usual hot temper self would not let her lose this argument.

"Are you in love with him or something?"

"Of course, not!" said Sophia rapidly, blushing madly. "I am just being logical and not seeing everything as black and white as you do. Just because we don't like James Potter that doesn't mean that the rest of the school doesn't"

"You are not been logical! You are being mad!"Spat Alice angrily at Sophia.

Fortunately, Lily didn't have to break in to prevent any further fights; Dumbledore had taken care of that as with a clap of his hands the dessert that had replaced the food disappeared from the table. The students turned their attention to the Headmaster; the kind smile that always carried with him was directed to all of the students. His arms open wide, like he was ready to hug the whole Great Hall.

"Welcome old and new students! We are glad to have you all for another year at Hogwarts. Now that the summer has come to an end, I hope you are all ready to fill your heads with knowledge" said Dumbledore, his penetrating blue eyes glimmering behind his half moon spectacles.

"To all of you newcomers, I would like to point out that the entrance to the Forbidden Forest is forbidden and it's time for the old students to learn that as well" Lily heard someone snickering a few seats from her, she turned around to see James with his friends, Sirius, Remus and Peter looking at each other like they were sharing the same joke as they were trying hard not to burst out laughing. Lily shook her head in disapprove before turning her attention back to Dumbledore to hear the rest of his speech and good thing she did, because Dumbledore's merry face had been replaced by a serious mask that the Headmaster used only when there was a serious situation ready to be told.

"The Ministry wishes me to keep you in ignorance about the events that are happening or are about to happen. You see, they wish to keep you in ignorance to prevent panic. But I don't only see you as kids; I think that you deserve to know what really is going on outside the walls of Hogwarts. Voldemort is building an army" Students were turning their heads towards the ones who were sitting next to them and started whispering to each other like bees buzzing over a flower. Dumbledore waited for the buzzing to ease before carrying on with his speech.

"I am not telling this to frighten you or panic you. But there are some things that we all must be conscious about. Due to the hard times that are ahead of us all I respect you all enough to let you know that dark is approaching. During dark times though is when all of our most hidden selves are revealed and remember, no matter how dark it gets, happiness can still be found if only one remembers to turn on the lights"

Silence had fallen in the Great Hall; every head was turned towards the elder man with the silver beard. "I need you all to know, that Hogwarts is home to all of you who seek for one and nobody behind its wall and as far as it's in my hand will be harmed. I think I've kept you long enough, though. Your warm beds are waiting for you in your dormitories, let's get them filled"

"What was that all about?" asked Sophia quietly as she stood up from her seat followed by Lily and Alice.

"I think Dumbledore's right" muttered Lily solemnly. Every summer Lily would return back to her home, to the muggle world that seemed so untouched and far away from magic that Lily was almost forgetting what she truly was, only to be reminded after she would hear her sister muttering the word 'freak' through clenched teeth every time Lily was near. It seemed like there was a great wall that separated Lily's worlds. The wall separated the magic world Lily was a part of and the muggle world that Lily had been living into. The wall was broken the same night when deatheaters broke into her home uninvited, when her home's door was kicked open and five hooded figures appeared with wands in their hands.

That night her parents were in the living room watching television, late. Lily could still remember that when she had left them her father's and mother's fingers were entwined. When Lily heard the curses and screams from their living room she rushed down to the hall, or at least what it was left of it. The chandelier on the ceiling was broken and half of it had fallen on the beautiful red carpet her mother was so fond of. Most of the furniture was just a bunch of sticks. But the worst sight of all was the sight of her parents with their fingers still entwined, their eyes wide open, the horror pictured in them. Their dead bodies were on the floor, the one of her father's over her mother's like he had tried to protect his wife.

The deatheaters had no reason of doing this. Her parents were two normal, quite people that hadn't harmed anyone in their whole life, yet they were so brutally murdered. They had died because a bunch of deatheaters wanted to have fun.

"Things are indeed getting out of control" Lily completed her phrase, looking so pale and moody that Alice had asked her if she wanted to throw up. But truth to be said, Lily did feel like throwing up, maybe by emptying the little food that was in her stomach some of the pain would be erased, too, even temporally.

Fortunately for Lily, the Gryffindor prefects had taken care of leading the first years to the third floor where the portrait of the Fat Lady was waiting for them.

"Password?" asked the Fat lady.

"Dragon's blood" said Katy, Gryffindor's prefect in a clear voice.

The Fat Lady opened her portrait, revealing the Gryffindor Common with all its red and gold's. Time didn't seem to pass in Hogwarts. Everything was the same since Lily had stepped foot in its grounds when she was eleven. Though time did pass, Lily was no longer an eleven year old. She was no longer the curios little girl who wanted to touch and try everything in the castle.

"Aren't you coming with us?" asked Alice as she and Sophia headed towards the girls' dormitory and Lily didn't follow.

"The Heads have their own dorm" Lily frowned and Alice gave her an understanding look while Sophia was looking at her two friends highly amused.

Soon enough everyone was up in their dorms and Lily headed towards the stairs. At the left there were the boys' dormitories and at the right there were the girls' ones. There was another stair in front of her, though with just about five steps that led to a door that on it with gold letter was written the word, Heads.

Lily ascended the narrow steps and reached for the door's handle,though when she tried to open it, the door was stubbornly remaining closed.

"Pollyjuice Potion" the voice of James Potter said from behind her.

"Excuse me?" questioned Lily, turning to look at James with an eyebrow raised. The handle that was in her hand, turned around by itself and the door opened, revealing the dorm.

"It's the password" exclaimed James. "McGonagall told me"

Lily frowned as she got in the dormitory, being the golden Gryffindor boy; Captain of the Quidditch team had its benefits. One of them was the teachers' liking and learning the passwords before the other simple mortals did.

The Head's dorm was a miniature of the Common room. There was a beautiful marble fireplace with two armchairs by it. A small coffee table with two chairs was designed at the other side of the small but cosy dorm and at the back, there were two doors the led to the rooms and one that led to the bathroom.

Lily without saying goodnight to James picked the door that the word 'Head Girl' was written on and slammed it behind her. The small room contained a four-poster bed, a bed-side table and a large window. Lily's trunk was already placed in front of her bed.

The girl rapidly put on her nightdress before throwing herself on the bed. Her red hair, spread around the sheets and her eyes staring up at the ceiling. Slowly she curled herself on the bed in a fatal position. Half of her face was sunk in the soft, puffy pillow.

The thought that she would not get any owls this year from her parents, asking her if she was alright, that she wouldn't be home for Christmas made the tears stream down her face. Her fist was clenched around the soft pillow, now all of her face being sunk into it, the fabric of the pillow was swallowing her sobbing.

The month that had followed was as hard as it could get for Lily. She was emotionally damaged and even if she was doing her best to hide it from Alice and Sophia, her friends were not fooled. They knew that their friend was a mess and the fact that she was hardly eating didn't help either.

"You really must go to madam Pomfrey" said Alice for the tenth time that week when Lily started playing with the food in her plate.

"I am just fine! I don't need to go anywhere!" spat Lily angrily at her. This was the answer Alice was getting every time she was pointing out how Lily had ruined her health.

"Lily, the only one you are fooling is yourself. Look at yourself, look at what you have become!"

"I am perfectly fine, thank you very much!" replied Lily with an irritated tone of voice and the conversation ended there. Though Lily knew what her friends were seeing, she was looking at it, herself every morning in the mirror. She had become a zombie, her round face had become like a skull and her green eyes had lost their shine. Most of her clothes had become too big on her while her red hair was a messy mass around her head since she did not bother to brush it. The thing that had scared her friends the most though was the black circles that were under Lily's eyes and were never leaving. Lily didn't only have trouble when she was awake. The real torture was the nightmares every night.

It was the same nightmare over and over again. The corpses of her parents' bodies, their empty eyes that the horror was still pictured in them and the ruined living room were torturing her every night. Lily's frightened mind and imagination would add a little frightening detail every night as if to complete the nightmare. The menacing laugh of the deatheaters, the green light popping out of the tips of their wands, hitting her parents were those little details that made Lily wake up in the middle of the night with cold sweat running down her face.

But even though Lily had become a walking dead that didn't stop her from her homework, essays and duties. In fact she didn't mind the extra work of the Head Girl. Work, was the only thing that could distract her from the nightmares that haunted her even in the morning light. Lily seemed desperate to keep herself busy and she had literally moved in the Library. After a lot of days, madam Pince, the librarian had stopped frowning over her sight since she had gotten used to the redhead girl that always chose the table in the corner with a handful of books to then hide her face behind.

Lily's life was homework and head duties were she had to spend a few hours with James to patrol the corridors, take points and then give report to professor McGonagall. Fortunately, none of them seemed to want to open a conversation with each other, so they were greeting each other with a nod before turning to their work.

The last weekend before Halloween, Lily had spent it in the library until late at night, reading books about everything that possibly existed in the world of Charms and Potions. Charms were Lily's favorite lesson; it was the only lesson Lily didn't have to study hard to get a good grade.

As she was sitting there with her face buried behind her book, she sensed someone approaching from behind. Lily frowned as she placed her book on the table and turned her head around to come face to face with the boy with the greasy black hair and dark eyes that were fixed on her.

"Severus!" breathed Lily surprised as she jumped off of her seat, facing the boy. Surprise was pictured in her green eyes. Her and her former best friend had not talked to each other for a lot of time. The last time Lily had talked to Severus was when she was out of the Fat Lady's portrait at fifth year. Severus was there, trying to make her forgive him for calling her a 'mudblood'. But Lily's reasons for pushing Severus away were not only due to the fact that the boy insulted her. Severus Snape had changed, Lily had always noticed him being rather fond of dangerous dueling spells and powerful magic, but she would have never imagined him going so much deeper into these things that he would become fond of the Dark Arts and one of the darkest wizards that existed, the wizard whose followers murdered her parents.

"Lily" started Severus, biting his lip softly as if trying to choose the right words to say. "I am sorry about your parents. When I heard about what happened, I run to your home to find you, but you weren't there. For a moment…" Severus closed his eyes for a second as if dealing with things beyond his power. "…for a moment I thought you were dead"

There were a few seconds of silence after Severus' words sunk in. Lily was taken aback by his words. What Severus was saying and worst of all the way he was saying it, was against the picture Lily had worked so hard on to form, after Severus' big and illuminating changes. Lily hated when she had something sure and solid in her mind about something and someone would come uninvited to make her doubt it or ruin it and that's what Severus was doing right now. Lily's temper and bad emotional situation turned all the anger she had stored inside her towards the boy in front of her.

"You're sorry?" she question in a cold voice, worse than yelling. Severus narrowed his eyes but didn't step back at Lily's tone.

"You're sorry. What are you sorry about? Isn't You-Know-Who your new hero? Don't you support his and his followers' actions of slaughtering innocent people?" her voice was raising with each word and madam Pince and some other students that were in the library turned and looked at Lily half annoyed half curios.

"And what is it to you if I die? One less mudblood, nothing special" It was a hard blow; Lily could see it at how stony cold Severus' face had turned. Though she wasn't sure why. Lily had no idea about Severus' motives from doing this and that scared her and angered her at the same time.

"You don't know what you are talking about. You know nothing" muttered Severus, spitting his words at Lily.

That's when Lily lost it. Without thinking it, she grabbed the heaviest book that had fallen in her hands and threw it as hard as she could at Severus who even if he tried to step aside, the book hit him on his right arm.

"That's enough!" yelled madam Pince, hurrying over towards Severus and Lily, her eyes shooting flames at both of them. "That's it! OUT! OUT, BOTH OF YOU! OUT OF MY LIBRARY!"

With a flick of her wand, Madam Pince sent Lily's books chase both, Severus and Lily out of the library. When Lily and Severus were safely out of the library, the books fell on Lily's feet and she bit her lip hard to prevent a cry of pain to escape her mouth.

With her bad temper still turned at full, her cheeks a bright red and her eyes after a month, glimmering, but this time from anger, Lily turned around to face Severus again. The boy looked at her, his eyes unreadable and Lily didn't know what to make out of it. Severus' hand was clenched around his wand in his robes' pocket as if trying to decide whether to hex her or not.

Before Lily could do anything, Severus shot her a glare and turned on his heels, walking rapidly away from her. Lily stood there, staring at the spot Severus had vanished.

The anger that had been boiling inside her had started easing slightly, her emotions and thoughts a mass of ropes that could not be untangled, there were only a few feelings standing out of all this mess. Fury, despair and hidden at the back nostalgia and sadness and a very strong urge to cry.

Lily slowly picked the heavy books from her aching toes and walked away from the library, heading towards the Gryffindor Common Room.

As she entered she looked around for any sight of Sophia and Alice and then she remembered that it was a Hogsmeade weekend. They should probably be at The Three Broomsticks drinking warm butterbeer. Lily felt very guilty and sad over the fact that when she was into her own world of depression where she preferred to stay alone she had been cut away from her friends, the two people that had left for her to care.

Thinking of somehow making up to them later she walked up to her dormitory, speaking loudly the password before getting in.

She entered her room and without removing her jacket she threw herself on the bed and stayed there, getting lost in her own thoughts.

Why had Severus come to find her? He had said what he thought of people like her. Why should he come over and confuse her? Haven't they had come to terms to just stay away from each other?

Lily could hear her watch ticking, it was time for dinner, but Lily's legs didn't seem to cooperate.

Alice and Sophia would already be back at Hogwarts, now. Were they in the Great Hall? Were they looking for her? Or were they ignoring her just like Lily had done to them, just like Lily deserved?

The watch kept ticking and the hours seemed to pass like minutes. It was nearing eleven, but Lily couldn't see it or couldn't hear the ticking since she was already fast asleep.

_She was in her home's bedroom. The walls were filled of posters, the shelves filled with her books but even then, they weren't enough since a bunch of books were left on her desk. Lily was sitting on her bed with a book about Charms on her lap, lazily turning its pages, her green eyes were moving from word to word. Suddenly the lights went out and there was silence. The TV had stopped working from the living room._

Before Lily could stand up and see what was going on a loud bang was heard and someone had broken into the house. Lily stormed off of her bedroom but as she was running in the corridor she could hear her mother's screams and the sound of one curse that made Lily freeze. A loud explosion made Lily to scream and after that, there was complete silence.

With her heart thumbing hard against her chest, Lily descended the stairs to find the living room completely destroyed. Her parents' corpses were lying on the floor with their eyes wide open.

Lily started crying as loud as she could, unable to believe the disaster that had happened in so little time. Unable to believe that in a little more than a minute, years of spending with her parents, years that she was yet about to spend with her parents were taken away from her.

The girl turned around still sobbing, but before she could move any further a wand was pointed straight at her forehead.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Lily sat up on her bed, screaming. Cold sweat was running from her forehead and her heart was hammering against her chest like sticks against drums. The sight of the green light and her dead parents was still fixed on her eyelids as Lily stood up from her bed.

She took several shaky breaths before realizing that she was in her dorm at Hogwarts and not in her destroyed home, that she was not dead but certainly frightened.

Lily slowly wiped the sweat away from her face; she turned and looked out of the window. The bright full-moon was up on the night sky. Her green eyes moved from the window to her watch. It was nearing midnight.

With clumsy movements, Lily managed to lie on her bed again. But her body was stiff against the mattress and she was afraid that if she would close her eyes the nightmare would continue. She stayed in her bed for another five minutes, in a position similar to a mummy's before finally standing up again.

Feeling like she was about to drown in her dark room, she got out and headed towards one of the armchairs near the fireplace. Her green eyes watched as the orange flames danced around the fire. Lily concentrated on them, the hypnotizing, beautiful but at the same time dangerous flames in an attempt to wash the nightmare away from her mind.

As she was sitting there, staring at the flames like hypnotized she heard footsteps. Frowning she turned around but saw nothing, she was about to return back to the fire when she noticed that the door was half opened, like someone had just gotten out.


	3. Night Walk

Lily had to blink her eyes several times before realizing that the door was truly half-opened and it wasn't just her wild imagination playing games with her. She turned her head around to face hers and Potter's rooms, both doors were closed. Besides, Lily couldn't remember hearing Potter's door opening or closing. When her eyes turned back to the dorm's door she had started considering that Potter had probably forgotten to close it after he came back from dinner. But what about the footsteps Lily had heard?

'My imagination' thought Lily. 'Just my imagination'

Her green eyes stayed pinned on the door for a few seconds as if Lily was expecting the door to magically close by itself or for someone to appear. Sighing, Lily slowly stood up, her hands holding the blanket that she had placed around her shoulders. Lily approached the door and was about to close it when a horrible thought crossed her mind.

'If I go back, the nightmares will come back'

Lily's mind was no longer concentrated on the orange flames. Her lethargy was interrupted by the sound of footsteps and her attention completely drawn on the half closed door. If she was to close it, her mind would have nothing to concentrate on and her eyelids that had already started to get heavy would eventually close and drive her back into the nightmares that she had just escaped.

Lily was sweating with fear only at the thought of it. No, no more. She had had enough for one night, she didn't know if her heart could bear another dream with the same green light, the same scene of her dead parents. The picture flashed in her mind and Lily shook her head rapidly as if to shake the picture away. Her green eyes turned on the armchair she had been sitting a few seconds ago. The fire gave the dark red fabric of the armchair shadings that were creepily shaking as the flames continued to dance. The rest of the room that was not touched by the light of the lively flames was completely swallowed into shadows. Lily had no desire in getting back to the armchair. In fact, the thought of it made her heart that was still weak and shaky from the nightmares clench with fear.

Feeling desperate, her heart was beating faster and faster and before she knew it and as if her feet had a mind of their own, the girl stepped out of the dorm and closed the door behind her. A bit shocked at what she had done, she stared at the stairs in front of her. Taking a deep breath she took a step forwards and gathering up all of her courage, she went down the stairs and rapidly walked out of the common room to the dark floors of Hogwarts.

'A walk will not hurt anyone.' Thought Lily, besides she just needed to drive away the nightmares that were still flashing in her mind like a black and white movie that was in replay, Lily knew that there was no way she could go back to sleep with all these pictures in her head that were haunting her.

Hogwarts was so different at night. If Lily didn't know that it was Hogwarts she would have never guessed that she was in the same castle. It was unusually cold. That was the first thing Lily had noticed. She wrapped the blanket that she had dragged out of her room more tightly around her petite frame. It was just so strange, with no students hurrying in the corridors, no talking from the portraits and no ghosts roaming around. The faded silver moonlight that crept inside the large windows gave the whole image a creepy feeling as it would hit the ancient walls that were decorated by portraits whose residents were fast asleep.

As Lily was walking, her feet not making a sound to break the complete silence she heard footsteps from behind her. Heavy footsteps that were approaching quickly, Lily turned around so fast that her eyesight was blocked by her red hair as it flew over her eyes. But there was no one there, there was no one standing at the place where logically the footsteps had been heard. Clutching her hands on her blanket Lily swallowed and tried to calm her fast heart beat down. She was getting frightened. These footsteps were the same that she had heard back in the Heads' dorm. This was no coincidence. Was some sort of a ghost after her? No, what was she thinking? Ghosts weren't walking like humans, they were floating spirits.

Before she could have further thoughts about it, another pair of footsteps was heard. This time, they were coming from the corridor in front of Lily. With great horror Lily saw a light drawing closer and closer.

"Who's there?" said Filtch, the groundskeeper of Hogwarts that disliked every single student in the castle.

Before Lily could react, an invisible hand covered her mouth and started dragging her towards a knight's armor. Lily let out a scream that was never heard. She tried to bite whatever was over her mouth but it kept a firm hold on it. As she tried to escape by using her arms and legs an invisible arm wrapped her body tightly, preventing her from moving.

She was dragged behind the armor and was forced to sit down behind its shadows. Strangely, she felt her head leaning at something soft and warm and whatever was behind her was rising and falling steadily, in the beat of what reminded Lily of a heart beat.

She could feel her heart thumbing hard against her chest and against the invisible so called arm as Flitch stood right in front of the armor that she and whatever or whoever grabbed her were hiding behind. Flitch stood there, his lantern lighting the place.

"I know you are here, you can't hide" his deep voice warned. Lily was still like a statue, she couldn't even breathe and was afraid that the sound of her fast heart beat would betray her. Eventually, Filtch seeing as he couldn't spot anyone, walked away. When the corridor had finally fallen into darkness and quite again, a voice spoke so close to Lily's ear that sent shivers down her neck and right shoulder.

"I'll release you now, but dare let out a single sound and I'll place a silencing charm on you, it will go with a binding charm if your little legs or arms show any resistance"

The voice that belonged to a male sounded strangely familiar to Lily, but she just couldn't put her figure on it. The hand around her mouth was finally removed and the firm and strong arm around her body was loosen, giving the chance to Lily to stand up and step back as fast as she could. But since the armor she was hidden behind was just a few inches away from the wall, her back collapsed hard against the wall.

The invisible boy stood up and slowly removed his cloak. As the cloak was removed, more of the boy's body parts were shown. When he finally took off the cloak, Lily looked up at the boy's face and was surprised to see…

"PO...!" before she could finish her phrase, Potter's hand was clenched around her mouth yet again. His face that was only half lighten by the moonlight was obviously annoyed.

"Didn't I say to you not to make a single sound? Do you want us to get caught, Evans?" asked James in a hushed whisper.

Lily's hand jumped to James' and forced it away from her mouth. She glared at the boy in front of her. Her anger and hot temper was about to turn towards him.

"It was you! You left the Heads' dorm! It was your footsteps I was hearing. Where the hell did you find an Invisibility cloak anyway? And why are you bloody out of bed?" hissed Lily, James' eyes narrowed.

"Yes, it was me" he answered slowly "I didn't know that you would stupidly follow. As for the reason why I am out of bed and where did I find the cloak, well that it's not any of your business" With these words James stepped away from the armor, soon to be followed by Lily.

Lily watched as James' hazel eyes turned for a moment towards the full moon that was hanging out on the sky. A frown appeared on his face before it was directed straight to Lily.

"Just go to your room, Evans" hissed James. It was Lily's turn to narrow her eyes dangerously.

"Do not dare tell me what to do Potter" she started dangerously. "Besides, who do you think you are?"

"I am James Potter and I have a wand, play it feisty a little bit more and I'll use it. Maybe then I can shut your little mouth with a good binding curse" Lily frowned at James' words, but the fact that made her even more upset was that she did not have a wand on her. Her wand was long forgotten on her bed side table. If only she had it on her right now, let's just say that Potter's fan girls would not be so pleased with how his little pretty face would turn into.

"Now, I would love to stand here and chat with you" continued James, his words filled with sarcasm and mocking, a tone that Lily always hated since it always reminded her of her sister's when she would speak to her. "But I need to leave. Don't you dare follow me; I'll knock you out and then drag you to your room by myself. So make yourself a favor and go back to the Heads' dorm right now"

Before Lily could respond with a sarcastic, smart answer she had already formed in her mind, James threw the invisibility cloak over his shoulders and disappeared under it. Lily could no longer see him, but she could hear his footsteps walking away.

Lily snorted and turned on her heels, prepared to head back to the Gryffindor Common room, but a horrible realization popped into her mind. She did not know where to go. She was too busy trying to keep away the nightmares from her head to picture the trail back to the common room in her mind. Not wanting to stick in the dark castle in the middle of the night all alone, she swallowed her pride and after a second of hesitation she run after James.

When she could hear his footsteps right in front of her, she stretched out her arm and removed the cloak from James' head. James turned around with a furious look on his face as he came face to face with Lily.

"What is it Evans?" he spat angrily at her. Lily swallowed and lifted up her nose.

"I…I…" she started trying to sound superior, but the request that was about to follow would surely not help her of doing so. "…I don't know how to get back to the common room. I've never been in this side of castle and I don't know how to get back". For a moment she thought that James' pursed lips turned into a gentle smile, but she quickly deleted that thought from her mind at James' next words.

"Miss. Perfect Evans does not know the way back? Well that's a surprise" he said in a mocking tone of voice and Lily was already considering her second option of staying in the corridors. Maybe returning back to that armor wouldn't be so bad after all. "Very well then" continued James. "I'll get you there"

Without any warning, the boy grabbed Lily's arm in a not very gentle way and dragged her under his invisibility cloak. Lily frowned and rubbed her forearm that had red spots on it from James' fingers. "You could be a bit gentler you know" she muttered through clenched teeth.

"Just follow me and make sure to be quite" replied James tiredly.

Lily was trying her hardest to catch up with James under the invisibility cloak. His legs being longer than hers made him walk faster than Lily's feet could manage. And no matter how surprisingly thin was the cloak; it still annoyed her, even though James being taller than her he was keeping the cloak many inches above her head.

Fortunately, none of them seemed to want to start a conversation, Lily already felt uncomfortable being so close to James. She had started wondering if under this same invisibility cloak, James and his current girl friend would hide to snog or maybe move even further from snogging. Lily felt like she was ready to vomit at that thought.

They reached the common room in no time, but had to spend another couple of minutes trying to wake up the Fat lady who after loud complaints about not letting her sleep and stay in peace for a few seconds let them pass her portrait.

Lily was glad when James pulled the invisibility cloak off and she was finally free to step away from the boy.

"I think you know the way to your room, no need to get you there, am I right?" asked James harshly, as if trying to get rid of the redhead as soon as possible.

Lily glared at him. "Of course I do" she said in the most sarcastic tone of voice she could master before turning to her heels, ready to head off towards the dorm. But something inside her stopped her. Being in the empty Heads' dorm where her nightmares were still hanging above her bed, waiting for her, was way more horrible than staying alone in a dark corridor of the castle.

"I'll just err…sit here" said Lily hastily as she made her way towards the couch by the fireplace. "I am not very sleepy."

"Who are you trying to fool? Your eyes are quivering from lack of sleep" replied James, raising his eyebrow at her. Lily turned and looked at him with a poor excuse of a glare. She hated it when he was being right. Lily was indeed tired, it was a surprise that she had not yet collapsed to a corner to fall asleep. But she was certain not to go back into her nightmares.

"It's not any of your business." She hissed. "Why don't you just leave? You seem so eager to get rid of me. Thank you for helping me come back, now you can finally get rid of my so annoying to you existence, so leave"

Lily wasn't looking at James, but she could hear the upsetting sigh that escaped his lips. James instead of walking away he walked over to Lily and sat next to her, placing his hands on his knees while turning his head towards Lily who didn't bother to turn around and take a look at him.

"I just don't want to leave you down here. It would feel a lot better if I knew you were in your room" replied James, for the first time that night his voice was soft and gentle and that gave Lily a strange overwhelming feeling that she quickly pushed away, thinking that it was just one of James' tricks to push unwanted girls away. He had probably already used this trick more than a hundreds of times already.

"Oh really and why is that?" spat Lily in a cold bitter tone, her green eyes turned to meet his hazel one that were hidden behind his glasses.

"Because I want to make sure that you won't follow me. I won't be there the next time you'll get lost in the castle and if Peeves find you, he will probably lead you to the Astronomy tower instead of the Common room."

"Look, I just don't want to go, alright?" replied Lily eagerly, feeling like a kid that was afraid of the dark and was having a conversation with someone older and wiser than her. That feeling made her very uncomfortable in a point that she could not turn and face James, afraid that his look would only just assure that feeling.

"And why is that?" asked James, lowering and dragging his voice.

"Because, I…I" muttered Lily, her head turning towards James and for a moment her green eyes were locked with his. She didn't dare to keep her glance at those hazel hypnotizing eyes of his, they made her feel so uncomfortable, especially the fact that they were so unreadable, no feeling crossed those eyes if James didn't want to, unlike hers who were like an open book to her feelings. And right now, her feelings and heart were sights that she wished to share with no one. It was the same pain of the death of her parents that she did not want to share, that pain that she had so well kept as her own and until now. "…Because I just don't. Why do you have to ask so many questions anyway? It's not like you care." Her voice betrayed her despair, and begging for James to leave her alone. But he wouldn't just take the bite; in fact he chose to round on her with his words like a hunter over a wounded small animal.

"What I care about is my business. I just would like you to know, that there were many times that I heard you screaming from your room". Lily's face turned pale at James' words. Screaming? Had the nightmare gotten in her so badly to make her scream in the middle of the night? Lily had never noticed or questioned herself if she was screaming or not and the fact that James noticed it made her insides uncomfortably twist. She was starting to feel trapped, a feeling she hated, being able to do nothing to escape bothered her. To her right was the stairs that led to her nightmares and to her left was Potter with his hazel eyes and questions.

"Well, I am sorry if I woke you up. I was just having a bad dream alright? Isn't it completely normal for someone to have a nightmare once in a while?" said Lily in a self defensive way, trying to sound irritated, even managing to snort at her last words. James, though unlike her friends did not know that when Lily would take that tone was the end of the conversation for her, so without bating an eyelash he just kept on.

"Of course it is, but you are having them every day. And I couldn't help but notice that your screams are getting louder and louder. I think you should go and see Madam Pomfrey for a dreamless potion or something"

This was it, James had crossed the line. No one was going to tell her what to do, she wouldn't take it from her best friend and certainly she would not take it from James, either.

"You won't tell me what to do, James Potter. In everyone's eyes you might be the golden Gryffindor boy, but in mine you are nothing but just an annoying prat." The girl spat at him, standing up from the couch and glaring daggers at James' direction. the anger inside her boiling like a cauldron of soup on the fire.

James seemed not to mind Lily's words. He stood up and stepped close to Lily, towering in front of her and looking down to her with no sign of anger, pity or sadness. In fact Lily couldn't remember seeing that look in James' eyes before. She swallowed as the boy looked down at her, making her feel once more like a weak, wounded animal.

"But the nightmares you are having are not normal, are they?" he asked quietly, ignoring the fact that a second before Lily had insulted him. "You are seeing nightmares about your parents' death. The Daily Prophet says that you have witnessed them getting killed". Lily's heart beat had never been so unsteady before. Her breath was getting heavier as the hazel eyes examined her distressed looking face, penetrating the walls that she was keeping all this horrible pain behind. Lily shook her head as her eyes started watering, her red hair flowing as she did so. "They are getting harder and harder every night"she said in a small voice, looking at the ground.

"But it's always the same. Me, the house, them, the deatheaters, the curse…and…" a sob escaped her lips that she tried hard to swallow. The pain inside her was too much to let Lily being concerned with the fact that she was crying in front of Potter. "…and it always ends with that green light. I can't take it anymore, sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night I ask for mercy, for that curse to hit me so everything can come to an end. I am afraid to go up, knowing what's waiting for me. I am afraid to fall asleep, even though I know it's so stupid, that I'm being a bloody coward getting scared over a nightmare…" Lily wiped her eyes with her sleeve, as the words escaped her mouth so easily as if they have been waiting to be spoken for a long time ago. "….but I don't care…" her voice was weak and shaking from tears. "I just want for the pain to stop. I want for everything to be normal again. I want to go back to my home at Christmas holidays. I want my sister to talk to me; I want my mother and father to smile at me. I feel so alone right now, so alone… it's like fighting something that has no face, no limbs, no body, but I am still forced to kill it even though it's killing me first. What have I done to deserve this? Have I been so wrong in my whole life? Is this a punishment for everything I've done? Wasn't the fact that my parents were so brutally murdered in just one second enough? Did I have to see it in my sleep every bloody single night?"

The tears were streaming down Lily's face like a waterfall. They were polluted tears, bitter tears; every single drop contained the pain that Lily had so well hidden inside her. The pain that had prevented her from accepting her parents' death, but at the same time for the wounds to heal, and as the tears kept falling, Lily was feeling even more and more empty. Moans were escaping her mouth as a pair of strong arms was wrapped around her, her face now buried in James' shirt, her hands clenching at his shirt as if they were seeking for some kind of support to hold onto.

None of them could tell how much time had passed with Lily sobbing into James' arms and James just standing there, watching her let all this pain that was like poison being removed from her body in the form of tears. His thumb was rubbing Lily's back as it was shaking more and more violently with the sobs.

Then came the time that they were both completely still, with only James' thumb still rubbing her back repeatedly, letting Lily know that he was still there. Lily felt completely hollow as her body was strained from the tears, her face was still buried into James' shirt even when she was finished, unwilling to lat the safety and warmth the boy offered her. James had said nothing during Lily's break down, but Lily preferred it that way. His steady heart beat against her face was enough to make her calm down and slowly turn her face up to face James, her watery eyes locking with his.

"I am sorry" she mouthed, feeling her voice too weak.

"What are you sorry about?" asked James gently, his thumb still rubbing her back.

"Your shirt is all wet because of me" replied Lily, unable to mention her break down now that it was finished. Feeling embarrassed now that James had to see all this.

"I'll survive" he muttered. Silence fell again, both of them not knowing what to say to each other after what had happened, unable to face each other and unsure about what to do to . But there was only one thing. They would never be the same again. At least Lily would never see James the same way that she had done before. He was the person that her pain was revealed to and he hadn't walked away but helped her face it and take out the poison.

"I think I am ready to go to bed" muttered Lily, her eyelids already half closed, too heavy for Lily to keep open.

James didn't reply, but at Lily's words he headed towards the stairs and straight to the Heads' dorm, supporting half of Lily's weight, eventually taking her to her room and watching as Lily finally closed her eyelids. After weeks of nightmares, for the first time, Lily was driven into a dreamless, deep sleep.


	4. The stolen book

**A/N :Hey, Guys! Sorry for taking SOOOOO LONG to upload a new chapter! Life's been really hecitc, i've been struggling a bit with family problems and school has not been helping at all! Again, i am extremely sorry and i hope you guys will forgive my rusty writing! I will try and upload another chapter this coming weekend!**

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After the night James had helped her take out all that pain of her chest, Lily hadn't had a nightmare again and slowly but steadily with the help of her friends and James her health was regaining and soon her cheeks were again round and rosy. It felt like Lily had gotten out of her nest after a long winter to face the first sunbeams of the summer sun. Lily was grateful for her friends who even after all that she had made them go through were so happy to have her back. As for James, Lily had come to face a big surprise when James had started to talk to her, smile at her and even flirt with her. But there was something different about him. The way he talked to her was not the way he used to back in fifth year. James had lost that arrogant and cocky manner of his; he no longer behaved like the great jerk he used to be. He seemed more serious, more determined and more matured. Lily had come to know him better after long walks and amusing discussions. The girl had grown to be quite fond of him and she was no longer questioning why everyone was looking up to James. He had the air of the leader and the person who you could easily trust and follow his words. Lily would never imagine that she would be so happy to be in James' company.

The rest of his friends, Remus, Sirius and Peter had come to accept her, too. Remus had always been nice with Lily, so he was no problem. Peter would just follow the crowd. The only one who didn't seem to be very fond of her, was Sirius. Lily had gotten the impression that Sirius was not very satisfied when James would invite her to sit with them in the Great Hall every once in a while. It was weird, though, Lily had the impression that Sirius was James' best friend. It was like the two boys were joined in the hip and even if they weren't brothers, they acted like ones. Lily, of course didn't want to bring this out to James, it would surely sound as rude. Besides, James was just a friend; she had no right to get involved in his personal business. Besides, it was not like Lily would hang out with the rest of the boys much. She was still shy around them, especially when Sirius was not very encouraging. The only boy that could make her feel comfortable was James.

Head duties had come to be so much fun with the change of hers and James' relationship. Lily's laughter could be heard in the corridors when James would say a joke while they were patrolling the floors. Even when they had to guard the corridors late at night and they were supposed to do it in silence (something that wasn't hard a few weeks ago) their lively chatter could be heard penetrating the silence of the night.

Two days before the Quidditch match in which Gryffindor would play against Slytherin, James and Lily had another night patrol in which apparently the main subject was about quidditch and countless quidditch techniques James himself had invented. Even though Lily was not very knowledgeable around Quidditch subjects, she was doing her best to keep up with the conversation.

"So, that trick move you described? The one in which the chaser throws the Quaffle over one shoulder to a team member in order to trick the opposing chaser? It sounds pretty difficult. How is it called?" asked Lily, their footsteps echoing in the empty dark corridors as they were approaching the third floor.

"Oh, it's called the 'Reverse Pass'. It's a classic move, though very difficult to accomplish. You see, it's very easy not to aim right and not pass it to your team member and if you look over your shoulder to make sure you'll aim right then the opposing chaser will figure it out and it will no longer be a trick move" James answered , pushing his glasses closer to his hazel eyes. One thing Lily had also noticed was how James' eyes reflected his emotions if the boy would let them show. If he wasn't close to himself, his eyes reflected his feelings, when he was angry they were getting darker; when he was laughing his eyes were lighting like two stars. Lily was stunned at how she would notice every single detail on James' body. But usually, the girl would just snap herself out of it. They were just friends; their relationship was just a step over bearing with each other, besides they still fought a lot.

"Sounds interesting" Lily couldn't help her hollow tone of voice that betrayed that her interest over the subject had faded away.

"Oh, really?" asked James mockingly, raising a questioning eyebrow. "I can see how interested you are, Evans. You are probably dying to tell me to shut up" the tone of James' voice was playful and light, a tone that recently he was using a lot when he was with her. A tone that Lily liked, it wasn't the mocking and sarcastic tone that gave Lily bad memories, but a light tone that only James' possessed.

"You are right, Potter" said Lily, fighting back a chuckle. "Shut up" The two Heads laughed as they kept marching on, supposedly 'patrolling' the third floor. Who would have thought that patrolling in the middle of the night would be so much fun?

The couple of them was about to continue their patrol in the fourth corridor and then they would finally go to their beds. Even if James' company was rather fun and amusing, Lily's legs were eager to relax on her soft bed. The girl accelerated her pace, her mind travelling in her dorm when she suddenly noticed that James was not next to her. Lily frowned and turned around to see James standing outside the library with his back turned on her.

Confused, Lily walked back to him. "Usually I would be highly amused, but don't you think it's a bit late for you to read?" the girl joked, but the boy didn't laugh, in fact he kept staring at a certain spot near the library's restricted section that was covered in shadows. "James?"

"Someone's there" muttered James, his light tone turning dark and serious. "I've seen someone getting out of the restricted section, carrying something with him. A book, maybe". Lily's green eyes followed James' to the spot he was staring at, to see nothing but complete stillness. Narrowing her eyes, the girl still couldn't make something out.

"James, it's a bit a late, maybe you are seeing things" Lily said tiredly.

"I know what I saw" James' answer was straight and firm, the one that took no arguing and Lily sighed in frustration.

"Come on, who would possibly get out in the middle of the night just to take a bloody book?" argued Lily, trying to get James back to his senses.

"I don't know. But I am about to find out" With his eyes still fixed on the depth of the library, James took out his wand and after whispering the illumination spell, he proceeded into the library with a blue white light coming from the tip of his wand.

Lily sighed in frustration at James' stubbornness. She just wanted to go to her bed and enjoy as much sleep as she could. She stood there, gazing as James was walking deeper into the library and was soon swallowed into the shadows. Shaking her head, Lily finally took out her wand.

"Lumos" she muttered the spell defeated and walked into the darkness of the library.

Even though Lily's spell was rather strong, it certainly wasn't enough to keep her from banging on one of the library's tables. Lily cursed under her breath. She loathed darkness more than anything. The feeling that she could not see anything was panicking and in the worst of times Lily felt like she was being drowned in a sea of darkness. In her eyes, the darkness was a sly enemy that no matter how much you fought it, it would never leave.

Stumbling her way through book shelves and tables, Lily finally made out James's lit wand and approached. James was standing at the entrance of the restricted section. The bronze, cell-like door was locked and there was no sign that someone had entered nor exited.

"There's no one here" said Lily impatiently, starting to feel really uncomfortable, the darkness here was thicker. "Come on, let's go" Lily lightly touched James' arm, but the boy didn't move. "Come on, James! Besides if there was indeed someone, don't you think we would have stumbled over him?"

In Lily's satisfaction James' sighed in defeat. "I am just so sure that I've seen someone" Endlessly, James shook his head and followed Lily out of the library.

Meanwhile, in the depths of the library, behind a shelf of large astronomy books, a figure was hidden behind the shadows, standing completely still, hardly even daring to breathe. The figure was holding a book, a very large book that was hard to hold. After the Heads left the library, the thief stepped out of the shadows and slowly followed the route back with the stolen book.

The next morning the incident during the night patrol was completely forgotten. Lily and James hadn't even thought of mentioning it in their morning report to professor Mcgonagal. It was after all, a fine Saturday morning, the last one before the Christmas Holidays and surprisingly snow this year had come early, so why bothering anyone with unnecessary information?

Three girls were sitting at the Great Hall, eagerly chatting with each other about the day's plans.

"I say we should just play all day long with the snow! We can make a snowman, a snow angel…" started Alice in an over excited tone of voice, her brown eyes were gleaming with excitement, her fingers playing with a long strand of blonde hair (a habit she had when she was either excited or nervous)

"Maybe we can relax in the common room with a nice cup of hot chocolate and a good story book like we did in first year" Sophia suggested, a smile spreading over her pale face.

"…we can do snow fight, we can snow-slide…" Alice carried on with enthusiasm, ignoring Sophia's words.

Lily looked at her friends in amusement. "I don't know, guys. Maybe you should start without me. I have a few essays that need to be done."

"Oh, you can't be serious!" Alice snapped at her, as if Lily had said the most offensive thing in the word. "It's snowing and you are going to bloody do your homework?"

"Don't be like that" said Lily still smiling "I'll meet you in the common room in less than thirty minutes and then we will have the whole day ahead!"

"Maybe we can also visit Hogsmeade, the village will look wonderful today, and shops have already put on their Christmas decorations. I have to buy a gift for my younger brother, he's been bugging me to buy him something from Zonko's shop for the whole year" said Sophia frowning. "But oh well, his enthusiasm will fade away, we are going to my aunt in Italy this Christmas!"

"Sounds wonderful!" Alice said. "My folks and I are going to my grandma's; she cooks the best turkey in the whole world".

Lily suddenly felt her stomach twisting and her heart aching at the memory of Christmas holidays. This would be the first holidays that she would spend without her family and even though she had managed to distract herself from her parents' death, it still hurt. It would always hurt, it would hurt every Christmas, every summer and every time she would stare at a family. Her friends must have noticed the sudden change in Lily's mood and realized what was going on in their friend's mind.

"You know, Lils. Mom told me to ask you to come with us this Christmas, she will be very happy if you would accept our invitation to spend Christmas' holidays with us" Alice smiled at Lily and Lily smiled back, glad that her friend was soothing the pain.

"And Italy is said to have great shops, you two will surely receive two very impressive gifts from me" Sophia added in a comforting tone of voice.

"As long as it's not a book I'll take it" Alice replied and the three girls laughed. Lily was glad that she had the best friends in the world. Smiling, she stood up.

"All those sound wonderful. I'll see you guys in thirty minutes!"

The redhead left the Great Hall with a smile on her face. At her exit she noticed that James was not with his friends, Remus, Sirius and Peter were sitting alone with faces close to one another as if they were planning something. James would possibly be training his team in the pitch; they had a match in a few days.

After a quick stop in her dorm to pick up her books, Lily headed straight to the library and as she had expected it was entirely empty from other students. But what had surprised her was the sight of professor McGonagall and madam Pinns talking in loud tones and with thoughtful looks on their faces. Without wanting it, Lily heard a few words of their conversation; a few words that made the girl stand still like a statue and her books to slip a few inches from her fingers.

"The book could not have been stolen! Albus himself has put protective charms on the cover to make it look like a simple defense against dark arts book. It was even hidden in a spot that only teachers have access to. It is not possible that a book of such highly importance has been stolen!" McGonagall said, her voice rising with each word, her usual cam and stern face turning red.

"But it has been stolen Minerva and I suspect that it was stolen last night. When I left the library it was there and today it's gone"


End file.
